Chase
by Bitcheesquared
Summary: Companion piece to Gone. Elena's point of view, and her reaction to Damon's decision.


Elena stood outside Damon's door, biting her lip nervously she raised her hand to knock, then hesitated, as the full ramifications of what she was about to do caught up to her.

It had been three days, since she'd woken as a vampire and her mind and her life was in a spin. Her emotions had run the complete gamut, from one end of the spectrum to the other. The memory of Damon's compulsion; case in point.

When those lost memories had first slammed into her, she'd been both shocked and angry. Then, barely five minutes later she'd been sobbing into her pillow at the memory of his single tear. Of course, she'd also been embarrassed as all get out, when she realized, just how much she had wanted to jump Damon the first time they'd met and more importantly, just how horny that simple memory still made her.

Strangely enough, in the end, it was those memories that had clarified the one thing she thought would have caused the most upheaval, with her new heightened emotions.

From the moment they had come back, it was as if a light had been shone on a part of her life that had been shadowy and murky only days before. And with the heightening of her senses and feelings, came the admittance that most of her past decisions, were based on fear more than anything else.

With the new clarity that her unwanted vampirism had brought, Elena could no longer hide from the fact that she was in love with Damon Salvatore and had been for months.

God, she'd been such an idiot. A frightened stupid little fool, that had stubbornly refused to let go of Stefan, because she was too scared of what his brother made her feel.

She cringed, when she remembered her placating words from that night in Matts truck. Maybe if I'd met you first. What a joke, except the joke was on her, because now she knew that she had met him first.

She couldn't get over what a complete bitch she'd been that night. Damon at his worst, had never been as cruel as she'd been in those few sentences. The guy had done nothing but try and keep her alive, for God knows how long, and she couldn't have been more hurtful if she'd tried. Damon had snapped Jeremy's neck for less than what she'd done three nights ago, but at least back then, it wasn't just her comments that had caused his pain, Katherine had more than a little blame in that scenario.

She'd accused him of self sabotage that night in Denver, but he had nothing on her. Where Damon struck out physically, she used words. And yeah, his actions were often violent, bloody and occasionally fatal, but apart from the incident with Jeremy they were never directed at her.

For God's sake, she'd told him she cared about him but she had to let him go, that she never unfell for Stefan. What the fuck? She'd known that she might never see him again and she'd deliberately dashed his hope and broken his heart. What kind of person did that to someone they cared about? Boy, what a little coward. Was I just so scared of how he made me feel that I didn't care, or am I really that much of a bitch?

Well, at least that was the question she'd asked herself, when she finally realized how deep her denial actually was.

And now she was standing outside Damon's door, scared to knock and finally tell the truth. She rolled her eyes at her own behaviour.

Suck it up Gilbert, it's Damon, he loves you. And you owe him the truth, if nothing else. Squaring her shoulders, she took a deep breath and knocked.

When Damon swung the door open Elena smiled hesitantly. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear she nervously reached for his hand.

When he stepped back and gestured for her to enter without contact, she felt the first trickle of uneasiness. Moments later she spotted the bag on his bed and the trickle was upgraded to a flood.

At first, she didn't think he was going to answer her when she asked if he was going somewhere. His face was strangely blank, even as he threw out his usual quips, and it was in that moment that the uneasiness turned to dread.

Refusing to believe that it was the way it looked, she swallowed her fear and spoke. "Umm.. how long are you going to be out of town. I mean, I can wait until you get back to talk, if you're in a hurry." she offered, apprehensively.

Inwardly, she knew she was stalling, she knew she should just tell him how she felt, but a part of her was scared that she was too late, that she had done too much damage with her words. The look on his face and his packed bag, was telling in the extreme, and his next words only heightened her fears.

"No, it's fine, I have time. I was going to get Stefan to tell you anyway, what with you being all avoidy of late, but I guess now you're here, it's probably better you hear it from me."

Panicked by his words and what he might say next, she cut him off before he could continue.

"I wasn't avoiding you, Damon, I've been trying to learn how to control my emotions, before coming to see you. I was pretty pissed, when my memories came back." She shot him a hurt look, before continuing. "And I needed to sort out some stuff between Stefan and I, before seeing you." she admitted. "

Oh my God she was right, she could see him closing down as she spoke. She had finally done it, she'd pushed Damon too far and it was her own damn fault.

"Anyway, you said you had something to tell me?"

Her heart plummeted even as she said the words, she had a pretty good idea where this was going, but for once in her life she was going to be brave and face the consequences of her actions. As much as she might want to flee to her bedroom and cry for a week, she knew she owed it to him to listen to his explanation even if it hurt.

She prayed she was wrong, that he was just mad and lashing out in his usual way, but even that tiny hopeful voice in the back of her head was staying silent on this one.

He then made some comment about her and his brother patching things up, and her brain got a little sidetracked working out that bit of Damon-esque logic, so by the time he'd finished telling her about a trip to New Orleans and then Europe, she was still processing the fact that he obviously thought she was back together with Stefan.

In desperate denial and at this point, grasping at straws, she deliberately acted like she misunderstood what he was telling her.

Elena winced internally at his incredulous look, but the wince quickly turned to gasp of pain as he went on to explain that he was leaving permanently. She vaguely heard him say something about postcards and pen pals, but that was mostly blocked out by the devastating news that he was leaving. For good.

Tears welled in her eyes, as realization hit.

"I don't believe this is happening." she gasped out "You're really going, aren't you. You're going to leave me".

He scowled and his next words really hit home, in a way she really wished she didn't get.

It wasn't the bitterness, or the unexpected information that he and Stefan had made some sort of deal about the other leaving.

It was the shame that she felt over the fact that she had pushed him away so well and so often, that he couldn't even conceive the thought of her having feelings for him. He seemed genuinely confused about her being upset, and he honestly had no clue that his every word, was ripping her heart into pieces.

What had she done to him, that made him believe that he was so worthless to her. How was he ever going to believe that she loved him... that she was in love with him, when he obviously believed that he meant less to her than a casual acquaintance.

Desperate to fix what she had done, she opened her mouth and blurted the first thing she could think of; the most honest thing she could think of.

"No Damon, you don't understand." she rasped out desperately "I'm not back together with Stefan. In actual fact, I've just spent nearly two days trying to get my head on straight, and another convincing your brother, that we don't have a future."

When he just stared at the blankly, she muttered and ran her hands through her hair. Her fear mounted as she stumbled for something to make him understand, to make him listen.

In the end, she decided the truth was the only thing she had left.

"I love you Damon, not Stefan" she blurted "I just spent two days coming to terms with how totally blind and stupid I've been and the last day trying to make Stefan understand that I'm in love with you, not him. I Don't want Stefan, I want you." She swallowed hard. "I realize, now that I have those memories back, that it was always supposed to be you, but I was just so scared of the way you made me feel" she admitted, tears flowing freely.

"But I'm not scared anymore Damon, and if you let me, I'll spend the rest of eternity proving it to you. Please tell me that it's not too late, tell me you'll stay."

Damon's reaction when it came was her worst nightmare made real.

At first he just gaped, then he laughed, and then he proceeded to tell her that, Hell yeah she was too late. He called her a manipulative bitch and even worse, he said she was a child that didn't know the true meaning of love.

He told her in no uncertain terms that he couldn't get out of Mystic Falls fast enough and that he didn't plan on coming back until she was either dead, or his feeling s for her were as dead as what he'd felt for Katherine.

He told her that she needed to grow the fuck up, or she was going to be a very lonely girl, because being scared of her feelings, was not an excuse that justified the way she'd treated him. As for her loving him... he told her he was highly doubtful that what she felt was love and that he was sure as soon as her vampire emotions settled, she'd undoubtedly realize she'd overreacted and run straight back to Stefan.

He finished, by saying that he loved her and was grateful that knowing her had helped he and Stefan put their past differences behind them, but that she'd made her decision three nights ago and he was sticking by it. He admitted that he'd loved her enough to choose her over his own brother, but that was before he'd had three days to think about all the things she'd done and said, since Stefan's return and then he said he'd had his own epiphany. He accused her of using him and treating him like an annoyance at best and compared himself to a guard dog. Then he very calmly told her that she should be glad he was finally doing what she wanted... He was moving on and that she should do the same.

She reached for him then and in one last desperate effort, tried again to tell him how she felt. His response had been succinct and strangely familiar.

Pulling his arm from her grasp he looked her straight in the eye and told her, that... Frankly, he didn't give a damn.

And he'd left just like that.

Elena couldn't ever remember feeling like this in her entire life. Not even after her parents had been killed, had she felt this much pain.

And the worst part, was that she knew it was her own doing. Damon had all but begged her three days ago, to choose him and she had dashed his hopes in the cruelest way possible. Why oh why had she been so blind.

She'd had everything she ever wanted within her grasp and she'd thrown it all away, because of fear and her need to be the good girl.

Well, that had worked out just great, she was a fucking vampire and her life was officially shit.

She was a blood sucking creature of the night and the man she really loved, had made it pretty clear that he didn't think she'd ever been a good girl, or a very nice person. And she really couldn't argue with that.

Sitting sobbing on the edge of Damon's bed, that last thought kept revolving in her head, niggling at her as she wallowed in her own misery. And that's when it hit her.

Her tears ceased abruptly and her lips curved in a very familiar smirk.

She Was A Vampire! She didn't have to worry about being a good girl, not anymore, and that meant one thing. She could be as sneaky and as manipulative as she liked. She loved Damon and he had admitted he loved her. The old Elena might have respected his decision, the old Elena probably would have shut herself in her room for a week and cried a freaking river. But the old Elena was dead. The new Elena was a vampire; a vampire, that had spent a considerable amount of time in the presence of a certain blue eyed manipulative, sexy pain in her ass.

Damon, had alternately terrified, enraged, comforted and frustrated her, time after time. But the one thing he hadn't done, was give up on her. And he had definitely never made it easy to ignore him.

So now it was up to her to return the favor.

She was going to show Damon Salvatore that she could be just as determined and just as stubborn as him. She was a vampire now, she had eternity to prove to him that her love was real and an eternity to convince him that she was worth it.

He might think he was moving on and that leaving town was his first step.

But he'd forgotten just how stubborn she could be and now that her human traits were heightened, he was about to find out that Vamp Elena was even more stubborn.

Bonnie probably wouldn't like it, but she was going to be doing a little magic for her besty. And when she caught up to Damon, he was going to find a very different Elena on his doorstep.

He was her vampire, her man, the one she'd chosen and he could be as pissy as he liked. She'd wear it, not just because she deserved it, or even to prove her love. No, she'd find him and take his crap, take his rejection and his disdain. Because ultimately, whether he knew it or not, she was going to win him back.

As she closed the door to his room, his words from the night of their first meeting came back to her.

"You want a love that consumes you, you want passion and adventure, and even a little danger."

Oh yeah, that's what she wanted alright. And he was just the vampire to give it to her.

She grinned. Just you wait Damon, I'm finally going to do exactly what you told me to do. You told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted... so that's just what I'll do.

Taking out her phone she dialed Bonnies number.

When her friend answered, she laughed, her voice gleeful and her heart lighter than it had been in years..

"Hey Bon, how would you feel about taking a little road trip?


End file.
